Celebrating 4 Years of Sobriety with a Bottle of Wine

Saying no to alcohol became easy. Eventually, I started questioning the “never again” part.

Sharing a bottle of wine at the end of August 2026

I stopped drinking on the 7th of September 2022, and it has been the most important decision I’ve made in my life. Initially I wanted to make this a “you should quit alcohol, because it's unhealthy for you” post. But then I decided on a different angle. I am in no position to give you advice.

I never thought I had a problem with alcohol. I was only drinking on social occasions, and always with people.

In 2017 I moved to Sweden. The afterwork culture is strong there, and I'd find myself going out drinking 2-3 times a week. Usually on an empty stomach. Later I started traveling, and was constantly meeting people. I would eat out a lot, watch sunsets and go out after dinner.

Alcohol slowly became ingrained in my evening routine. When covid hit, I even bought fancy wine glasses so I could recreate the same effect at home. Even when I was by myself. I kept telling myself it was fine. Everyone else around me was doing the same thing.

But at the same time I started to notice the effect alcohol was having on people around me.

I vividly remember being out with a friend in Mexico. I shared a few drinks with him, but I was not in the mood for a big night out.

He got drunk nevertheless and started hitting on women. I started to get uncomfortable. It felt like he was getting more and more out of control and losing the ability to read their reactions.

I could see a path where I would be like him in a few years, and that scared me. I already felt that without alcohol, I wasn’t able to loosen up, especially around women. I was also feeling quite insecure, afraid of ending up alone and never finding love. Was I subconsciously using alcohol to run away from all these fears?

The next winter I experimented with stopping, but the maximum I was able to do was one month. There were lots of precious moments shared with people I loved, and I felt those were worth a drink. I pressured myself into drinking.

Fast forward to the end of August 2022. I was in my biohacking era, listening to a lot of Huberman Lab. I came across this episode about alcohol, and I promised myself I wouldn’t drink for 3 months.

I was about to leave for New Zealand to do an outdoor education course and possibly change my entire life. The course was 3 months. No one there knew me, so I could adopt the sober identity more easily without judgement. It was a blank page, and I was ready to change my patterns.

The three months were a success. I had no craving for alcohol, and I was able to be my authentic self with the people around me. The clear mind helped me to lay the foundations for the next few years. I decided to continue the experiment beyond New Zealand.

Fast forward to May 2023. The final boss of my will to say no to alcohol was coming up. A stag party and three weddings back home. Romania ranks the highest in the world when it comes to alcohol consumption. If I can say no there, I can say no anywhere.

The stag party was the first test. I was afraid of this friend, who is a big drinker and can be pushy. But to my surprise, he was completely chill, and gave up trying to convince me after about 2 minutes. They were making jokes, for sure, but it felt playful.

At the first wedding, I had a moment where I really wanted to have an Aperol Spritz. But fortunately, my friend David, who had also quit, was there, and his presence helped me to say no. I am eternally grateful. I had the best time at the party, was one of the last to leave and had more energy than I’d ever had while drunk.

Everything went smoothly after that wedding. I had no desire to drink, and even managed to stay true to myself when I got into a relationship at the end of 2023. But then something started to shift at the end of 2025.

I started to question if this behaviour was still aligned with the person I was becoming. Putting myself into the sober box helped me to understand myself, and I am grateful for that.

But did I still want to stay there? Could I enjoy a drink occasionally without slipping back into the habits that made me quit?

I saw my good friend Jan in Munich at the end of 2025, and we went to a cute Christmas market. I decided to have a glass of mulled wine. For the vibe. I also remembered liking the taste. It felt weird to feel tipsy after such a long time.

The mulled wine with Jan

Fast forward to August 2026. I was in Georgia, a country that is famous for its wine. But I didn't feel like drinking there. So I bought a bottle and took it back to Europe with a plan in my mind.

We opened that bottle a few days later with a person who is very close to my heart. The wine was meaningful in many different ways. It was from a wine country. It was a test to see if I could change my relationship with alcohol. Most importantly, I was sharing it intentionally with someone who feels precious to me.

Initially it was strange. It felt like I was breaking a promise to myself. But then I eased into it. It was a beautiful evening filled with lots of deep conversations. The wine definitely added to the vibe. I did not feel drunk, and I felt completely fine the next day.

What is going to change from here on? Probably nothing much. I like my life without alcohol, and I have little desire to drink. But I also enjoyed sharing that wine, and I don't regret it. I am open to having a glass or two again if the moment feels right.

But I want to keep paying attention to what makes me reach for it.

I can't say if quitting altogether is right for you at this point in your life. But I have a challenge for you if you have been thinking about it. The questions below are an invitation for you to think before you reach for a drink.

1. What am I feeling?

2. What do I want the drink to change?

3. What else could meet that need?

4. Can I try that for 20 minutes first?

What interests me about these questions is what I might discover in the pause. I spent years reaching for a drink without asking what I wanted from it. Now I want to pay attention to the answer.

What is your relationship with alcohol? I would love to hear from you.

See you next week,
Robert.