I stopped drinking on the 7th of September 2022, and it has been the most important decision I’ve made in my life. Initially I wanted to make this a “you should quit alcohol, because it's unhealthy for you” post. But then I decided on a different angle. I am in no position to give you advice.
I never thought I had a problem with alcohol. I was only drinking on social occasions, and always with people.
In 2017 I moved to Sweden. The afterwork culture is strong there, and I'd find myself going out drinking 2-3 times a week. Usually on an empty stomach. Later I started traveling, and was constantly meeting people. I would eat out a lot, watch sunsets and go out after dinner.
Alcohol slowly became ingrained in my evening routine. When covid hit, I even bought fancy wine glasses so I could recreate the same effect at home. Even when I was by myself. I kept telling myself it was fine. Everyone else around me was doing the same thing.
But at the same time I started to notice the effect alcohol was having on people around me.
I vividly remember being out with a friend in Mexico. I shared a few drinks with him, but I was not in the mood for a big night out.
He got drunk nevertheless and started hitting on women. I started to get uncomfortable. It felt like he was getting more and more out of control and losing the ability to read their reactions.
I could see a path where I would be like him in a few years, and that scared me. I already felt that without alcohol, I wasn’t able to loosen up, especially around women. I was also feeling quite insecure, afraid of ending up alone and never finding love. Was I subconsciously using alcohol to run away from all these fears?
The next winter I experimented with stopping, but the maximum I was able to do was one month. There were lots of precious moments shared with people I loved, and I felt those were worth a drink. I pressured myself into drinking.
Fast forward to the end of August 2022. I was in my biohacking era, listening to a lot of Huberman Lab. I came across this episode about alcohol, and I promised myself I wouldn’t drink for 3 months.
I was about to leave for New Zealand to do an outdoor education course and possibly change my entire life. The course was 3 months. No one there knew me, so I could adopt the sober identity more easily without judgement. It was a blank page, and I was ready to change my patterns.
The three months were a success. I had no craving for alcohol, and I was able to be my authentic self with the people around me. The clear mind helped me to lay the foundations for the next few years. I decided to continue the experiment beyond New Zealand.
Fast forward to May 2023. The final boss of my will to say no to alcohol was coming up. A stag party and three weddings back home. Romania ranks the highest in the world when it comes to alcohol consumption. If I can say no there, I can say no anywhere.
The stag party was the first test. I was afraid of this friend, who is a big drinker and can be pushy. But to my surprise, he was completely chill, and gave up trying to convince me after about 2 minutes. They were making jokes, for sure, but it felt playful.
At the first wedding, I had a moment where I really wanted to have an Aperol Spritz. But fortunately, my friend David, who had also quit, was there, and his presence helped me to say no. I am eternally grateful. I had the best time at the party, was one of the last to leave and had more energy than I’d ever had while drunk.
Everything went smoothly after that wedding. I had no desire to drink, and even managed to stay true to myself when I got into a relationship at the end of 2023. But then something started to shift at the end of 2025.
I started to question if this behaviour was still aligned with the person I was becoming. Putting myself into the sober box helped me to understand myself, and I am grateful for that.
But did I still want to stay there? Could I enjoy a drink occasionally without slipping back into the habits that made me quit?
I saw my good friend Jan in Munich at the end of 2025, and we went to a cute Christmas market. I decided to have a glass of mulled wine. For the vibe. I also remembered liking the taste. It felt weird to feel tipsy after such a long time.
Fast forward to August 2026. I was in Georgia, a country that is famous for its wine. But I didn't feel like drinking there. So I bought a bottle and took it back to Europe with a plan in my mind.
We opened that bottle a few days later with a person who is very close to my heart. The wine was meaningful in many different ways. It was from a wine country. It was a test to see if I could change my relationship with alcohol. Most importantly, I was sharing it intentionally with someone who feels precious to me.
Initially it was strange. It felt like I was breaking a promise to myself. But then I eased into it. It was a beautiful evening filled with lots of deep conversations. The wine definitely added to the vibe. I did not feel drunk, and I felt completely fine the next day.
What is going to change from here on? Probably nothing much. I like my life without alcohol, and I have little desire to drink. But I also enjoyed sharing that wine, and I don't regret it. I am open to having a glass or two again if the moment feels right.
But I want to keep paying attention to what makes me reach for it.
I can't say if quitting altogether is right for you at this point in your life. But I have a challenge for you if you have been thinking about it. The questions below are an invitation for you to think before you reach for a drink.
What am I feeling?
What do I want the drink to change?
What else could meet that need?
Can I try that for 20 minutes first?
What interests me about these questions is what I might discover in the pause. I spent years reaching for a drink without asking what I wanted from it. Now I want to pay attention to the answer.
What is your relationship with alcohol? I would love to hear from you.
See you next week,
Robert.
Beautiful journey you had there, Robert. Thanks for sharing it with the world.
For me stopping happened naturally as soon as I started running regularly. One can't both have a glass of wine every nite for dinner, and also have a good run first thing in the morning. I wasn't even planning to never drink but that's where things went and I feel great! I probably had 2-3 glasses of wine in total this year & feels great. It's more fun that way for me. :)
Thanks for sharing this part of your story! When I moved to Italy for my master's last year, alcohol became the center of a lot of social interactions in a way that I hadn't experienced so regularly in the past. To me, wine is interesting from a nerdy terrior-esque perspective, but it usually loses its luster by the end of even that first glass. While that region of Italy didn't have tons of NA options, I've found myself now gravitating even more towards fermented teas or botanical beverages when I'm in parts of the world that offer them on the menus. They satisfy that itch to try something new and learn about a beverage, its ingredients or origin, without the inevitable sleepiness that hits me after a glass of wine.